Insanity

I smile

You can’t hear the choke in my voice

And you ignore the water in my eyes

I tell you it’s rabies, or a stroke

Because I am ashamed

Are you tired of my sickness?

The 3:00 a.m. howling of night terrors

Demons raping the broken bits

Of an already destroyed soul

That one singularity that kept me together

That collapsed me

That hope of a future

I am a poorly rendered image

Of corrupted data

The projection of what

Who this 12 year old boy was supposed to be

Such headaches, focused into my temporal lobes

Trying to break spacetime

All I need is a flux capacitor and 1.21 Gigawatts

Or to succumb to the madness

I was born into this world fighting

Feet first I said i wasn’t ready

Anxiety festered for nine months

My twin, a monster

I ate my twin

They ripped me from the womb

Like that dude that could kill MacBeth

I still don’t want to be now

I could be before, or then

But not now. Not now.

The definition of insanity is ofttimes quoted

As doing the same thing

Expecting different results

I keep living

Expecting to like it.

I don’t.

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